In our parents and grand parents day, if you were having a sexual relationship with someone and you weren’t married then you could have been deemed as ‘Living in sin’ and you would have probably been dragged down the local church for a talking to by the vicar.
Moving in is surely the only way to find out what they are like, BUT beware the majority of cohabiting couples only last for 2 years.
Times have changed… oh yes! For the better…. or is it? Free love is everywhere today and one night stands are a common occurrence with no-one branding you with an iron for doing so. We have become a sexually free culture (in most countries). Even our single parents are jumping on the bandwagon (horrible thought) and dating freely.
Young couples today (certainly here in the UK) are shacking up together early on in a relationship, and the trend is growing – the majority of them just aren’t contemplating marriage, ‘that’s far too serious’.
According to my folks, apparently if you wanted a sex life back in the middle of last century, then you had to get married first and then move in together. Seems strange to our new generations. Maybe this is why divorce is at a high with the baby-boomer generation (born just after WW2), as they are now realising there is choice and they now want their freedom!
Going to live with someone is surely the right thing to do after 6 or so months into a relationship as it’s the only way you can really get to know them, and find out whether you would end up strangling them after a few months.
Hats off to some faiths that have arranged marriages, how they can make it work is beyond me.
It can be a hugely satisfying and ego boosting exercise when someone asks you out, unless you are gorgeous and you are bored of getting asked out all the time! We all know beauty is skin deep, BUT there must obviously be a spark of something there for you to be interested in going out with somebody. This article is dedicated to the times that you are just NOT interested but are not of the nature of being flat rude to them.
Noddy didn’t handle rejection too well!
So when do you say “NO”?
Well, put yourself in their shoes for a minute, they may have spent weeks thinking about you and how they are going to ask you. Firstly if you got an inclination they like you then make it clear you are not interested like that – ‘It’s cruel to be kind’. This is not easy in itself but try not to lead them on in any way and perhaps talk to them as a unbeknown friend and subtly tell them the sort of person you are looking to go out with, or get a mutual friend to suggest that you like someone else outside of your circle of friends. Don’t whatever you do boost your ego by letting them think they have a chance.
Obviously if you are in a bar and someone comes up to you who you just don’t fancy, don’t accept drinks off them, as once again you will be giving false hope.
Here are some tips on knocking back a date:
If you are unsure of your feelings –
Ask for some time. There’s noting wrong with this at all and they will respect you. Give it a couple of weeks to a month minimum. You can’t be put on the spot. If you don’t know them that well then ask yourself ‘what I got to lose?’. You may make a great friend anyway.
Double date. If you are up for trying something new then why don’t you suggest a double date whereby you can take along a mate and therefore have an escape clause if one of you should fall mysteriously ill!
If you definitely don’t see a future here -
“No thank you”. Thee simple words that says it all. You are being polite as well as direct.
“I’m flattered, but I’m involved with someone else”. If you can’t be as direct as the above then a little white lie won’t hurt. This is a really nice way of saying no ta!
“Get lost!” To be used in extreme circumstances, but never the less very powerful when you are getting badgered 24/7 and they just aint getting the message. If thios fails…. Call the police!
You meet an absolute stunner (man or woman) in your local boozer and he/she doesn’t speak a word of English…. You want to impress them after a few drinks… what better way than telling them you love them in their own language. It may break a smile for you!
1. English - I love you
2. Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
3. Albanian - Te dua
4. Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
5. Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
6. Bulgarian - Obicham te
7. Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
8. Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
9. Croatian - Volim te
10. Czech - Miluji te
11. Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
12. Dutch - Ik hou van jou
13. Estonian - Ma armastan sind
14. Ethiopian - Afgreki’
15. Filipino - Mahal kita
16. Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
17. French - Je t’aime, Je t’adore
18. Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
19. German - Ich liebe dich
20. Greek - S’agapo
21. Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
22. Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
23. Hungarian - Szeretlek(Thanks Dóra!)
24. Icelandic - Eg elska tig
25. Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
26. Irish - Taim i’ ngra leat
27. Italian - Ti amo
28. Japanese - Aishiteru
29. Korean - Sarang Heyo
30. Latin - Te amo
31. Latvian - Es tevi miilu
32. Lebanese - Bahibak
33. Lithuanian - Tave myliu
34. Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer
35. Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
36. Maltese - Inhobbok
37. Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
38. Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
39. Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
40. Persian - Doo-set daaram
41. Polish - Kocham Ciebie
42. Portuguese - Eu te amo
43. Romanian - Te iubesc
44. Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
45. Serbian - Volim te
46. Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing’I Love You’)
47. Slovak - Lu`bim ta
48. Slovenian - Ljubim te
49. Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
50. Swedish - Jag alskar dig
51. Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
52. Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
53. Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
54. Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
55. Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
56. Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
57. Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
58. Welsh - ‘Rwy’n dy garu di
59. Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
As part of a series of new and ongoing features I will be looking at all the UK’s counties and suggesting a handful of the most romantic days/nights out, providing you with need to know information and saving you valuable loving time.
As it’s my home county I thought I’d kick off with Surrey, in the Heart of South East England and bordering Greater London. There’s plenty on offer so you are spointl for choice.
Here are my top 5 romantic ideas for Surrey:
Wisley Gardens – Wisley is British gardening at its best. Covering over 240 acres, highlights include the Alpine Meadow carpeted with daffodils in Spring, Battleston Hill, brilliant with rhododendrons in early Summer, the heathers and Autumnal tints. All this together with the Glasshouses, Trials and Model Gardens are all features for which the Garden is renowned. It doesn’t matter if you are not a gardener, it’s just a really romantic place to enjoy.
Open all year
Tel: +44 (0)1483 224 234
Hampton Court Palace – Home to the world’s oldest known vine and King Henry VIII (and his 8 wives), Hampton Court Palace offers 60 acres of garden that run alongside the River Thames. It even has a maze to get lost in if your date is doing your head in! There are traditional costume guided and audio tours if you fancy it.
The Palace also offers the finest paintings, tapestries and furniture in Britain. Take a picnic and just chill in the gardens. A lovers paradise.
Open all year except 24-26 Dec and Jan 1
Tel: 0870 752 7777
Recorded info: 0870 751 5175
Men often make the common mistake of thinking that if you don’t have a washboard stomach, a great singing voice, a successful career, full head of hair, be dashingly handsome and rich, and have an amazing personality then you will never land the woman of your dreams. You have Hollywood to thank for that!
If it can work for him then it can work for anyone!!!
I have written 10 essential tips if you want to better yourself and become more desirable to women, follow them and you will change your entire outlook on dating and grow in confidence.
Ladies I’d appreciate your feedback here too, give us fellas some pointers, after all we are almost a different race to you!
1 – Eye Contact. Crucial for building trust from a ladies perspective. Next time you are at a bar you will subconsciously undress a woman with your eyes… don’t go there, women hate it!
2 – Become a listener. Many ladies like to feel they are being heard and most blokes like to talk about themselves. Shut up and listen, also ask some searching questions which will allow them to open up a little. Share some opinions as long as they are not sexist! Don’t whatever you do lie…. Women are smart and trust me they will work you out immediately.
3 – “Can’t buy me love”. The Beatles got it right, most women don’t want to feel indebted to you immediately and rightly so. By all means buy them a drink, but don’t force it on them. With the shocking rise in date-rapes you will also have to ensure the lady feels like she is in complete control of the situation. After buying her a drink don’t feel like she now owes you something… she doesn’t. If she likes you she will talk to you.
4 – Talk her language. Find out her interests and what she gets up to. It’s a known fact that people love talking about themselves, especially the ladies! Show a genuine interest and she will show an interest in you. Ask her some opinions. It’s almost like a market research exercise, use open ended thought provoking questions rather than closed. It’s too easy for them to get bored!
5 – Positive mental attitude. Keep conversation light, she doesn’t want to know how you were dumped by your ex for not getting an erection! Always say to yourself that ‘you are desirable’ and that is what your aura will give off.