Life begins at 40! Or so I’m told. I’m not quite there yet so can’t tell you if that’s true or not. What I can tell you is that the 40+ year olds that I know seem to have a ball when it comes to dating. I think it’s something to do with the fact that most people are over their problems in life and are relatively better off than they perhaps ever have been – this makes for a more relaxed person and someone who can chill a bit more. Many middle-aged people have a stigma about dating though and often feel they are over the hill. For these people…. That’s rubbish! Go out and meet someone, with the internet and dating services today there is access to thousands of people in the same position who are thinking exactly the same thing.
Divorce is unfortunately on the increase, but see this as an opportunity and go and meet the person you once dreamt about (and probably still do). BUT be choosy… you can afford to be!
For you lovely people, I’ve listed all the pros and cons of getting back into the dating scene to help you get to grips with the excitement of dating again!
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Relationships that normally end in friendship are the ones that you can’t help but grow into after the lust stage. You have been dating them for a while but ended up loving them as a friend and lost the lustful side of the relationship. This is all too common and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
The question is ‘could you and should you remain friends with the ex?’
According to a recent study, 50% of men are more likely to hold on to an ex than women, who rate at 27%. Believe it or not you can actually become addicted to someone caused by a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing endorphins, adrenaline and oxytocin.
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Ladies, I know what is going through your mind as I’m reminded of it every time I go away. You have a sneaky feeling your man is going off to sleep with as many attractive women as he possibly can… wrong, wrong, wrong!
This is what normally happens!
The truth is (98% of the time) that a short break will do you masses of good as absence makes the heart grow fonder. Obviously I can’t tell what your fella is like, but trust me they will normally be thinking of you and only you. If he truly loves you then you will have the most passionate time when he returns as he will have a lot of loving to make up for. He will probably spend most of the holiday texting you after a few drinks as he gets the horn anyway!
Us blokes need time to let off steam and reaffirm our male bonds with our mates and any denial of this from you could end up with a disagreement and a loss of trust, so why not allow him to do wat he wants to do. Would he mind you going off with the gals on holiday?
Blokes may have this ideal that when they go abroad they will be swamped with women, but the truth is that this never happens and it’s just in a man’s mind. By letting your man go without a fight you will allow him to reaffirm what life is like as a singleton. He’ll come back wanting you more than he ever has!
Now this is a tricky one and one that people ask me about a fair amount. Both love and lust have very similar symptoms:
• Can’t get the other out of your mind
• You may get hot flushes or butterflies when they are around
• Non stop pointless calls, emails or texts
Need I go on!
You can actually have both at the same time (obviously a fantastic relationship).
There are actually three stages of falling in love it has been reported:
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Hi
I’ve just got back from a holiday in Spain with my best friend (we are both girls) and am really upset with her. We both have long term boyfriends and when we were away she met a new bloke and decided to spend the entire holiday having this holiday romance and ignoring me. But that’s not why I’m upset with her, her boyfriend is crazy about her and a really nice guy and would break his heart if he found out about what she got up to. The guy she had a fling with was a complete tosser anyway!
I’m not sure what to do as she is my best friend, but I feel really sorry for her man and would hate to see him hurt. What should I do?
Doctor Date says
The old holiday romance eh! I suggest you leave your friend and her man to it. If you told him then he may not talk to you again or suggest you are trying to break them up or similar. You will also lose your friend. Unfortunately to say, boyfriends come and go and if she can’t remain faithful then you can pretty much guarantee that it won’t go the distance anyway. I’d express your disappointment to her and suggest that she will lose him if she messes him about any more and therefore she needs to make a decision as to whether or not she wants to be with him any longer.
