I came across a fantastic website that I can imagine would be the best possible friend for any person who is either wanting to know what to look for in a cheating spouse, what to do if you catch them, and how to get over infidelity!
www.infidelity-help.us.com
I am fortunate enough never to have been through it, but my mum could have certainly done with it a few years ago.
I pinched this little bit off the site (and credited it) which is an example of great advice for ladies if they suspect their men are cheating:
5 Things You Shouldn’t Do If He’s Cheating On You
1 - Don’t put him out or leave him - yet.
2 - Don’t tell the whole world about his infidelity.
3 - Don’t ignore his affair or pretend it’s not happening.
4 - Don’t confront him without the 3 P’s - Proof, a Plan, and a Purpose.
5 - Don’t waste your time and energy on the other woman.
We dropped onto this great little niche dating site “Secrets of Dating After 50” last week. It’s a blogger hosted site, which means download is a little slow and it looks like a relative newbie, but the author “Maggie” writes with great passion and enthusiasm. There are already some great little tit bits of info and advice. In our view it will be a blog to watch for the future.
Datexpectations wish Maggie all the best with her blog and suggest you pay a visit if your interested in the over 50 dating scene.
On my hunt for some of the most niche dating sites in the world I stumbled across this beauty… a site dedicated to setting up single smokers. Not a bad idea I think – whether we like it or not there are still millions of people paying to kill themselves.
Dating For Smokers Home Page.
The site clams to be the first of its kind to cater purely for chuffers. There certainly doesn’t seem to be a shortage of people signed up to it though as when I went on there were 115 singles ready to chat… and smoke!
I checked out a few of the female profiles (as you do) and to be honest they were ‘FAT FAT FAT!’ I think this is generally an American thing – stop going large, give up the fags and get off your fat ass!
I’m also not too sure about the text on their site though “date others whose preference is to be in a relationship with sexy smokers” – I guess it depends upon whether you find smoking sexy!?
Firstly look at the FACTS!
Is it really likely to work AND / OR are your motives purely about ‘booty call’? Be honest with yourself as you’ll be disrespecting your ex if you get this wrong.
If you can’t stop thinking about them and there is clearly some love left in the ‘pot’ – I’m talking not being able to sleep, feel empty, feel really attracted to them etc, then you perhaps should think about winning them back.
A little flirt doesn’t hurt!
Now this process can actually be harder than finding a new partner so be prepared to fight for their love and prove that you really are the one they should be thinking about and in a relationship with. If you are prepared for this and you know in your heart of heats that the ex is the one for you then you may want to try one of the following ideas to woo them back:
Make yourself irresistible – Get a make over / hair cut, buy some new threads. Get some advice from friends as to how to change your image to make you more attractive. By doing this you will immediately appeal to more people and thereby increase your confidence. If your ex sees that you are getting attention and that you are moving on… they will be drawn right back to you if they really care. A change of image is a great idea because it helps you find the ‘new you’ too. See my tips on how to flirt successfully.
Dinner at yours – Ask them over for dinner ‘as a friend’. Line up a couple of tracks on the CD player that were ‘your tracks’ – amongst others of course. Also maybe get some photos out of good times gone by. By doing this you will know straight away just how interested they are – obviously be subtle and not stalker like! You never know it may actually cement it in your mind that they are not right after all.
Do something exciting – Again, ask them as a friend whether they fancy doing something a little different. I’m talking something unusual and exciting that will get the emotions running and bring you closer – a day out at an amusement park or something. This is also a great way of clearing the stale air between you… and may lead to a little more.
The jealousy card – Not a particularly pleasant card to play as it hurts everyone involved. However if you are that desperate to win your ex back and feel that the only way you can win their attention is by flirting with others then go for it. But, be warned that this can backfire quite easily and ALL trust between you and your ex can disappear in seconds. I don’t advise this as you are not being true to anyone involved, including yourself.
From my personal experience I live by the rule of never going backwards. After a relationship it feels like they are the only one you will ever be with again… this is human nature and you feel like this because you have shared so much together. Going back to the ex is a quick fix to a broken heart or getting a shag. 99% of people who go back say that it never works for a second time… and if it does, not for very long.
You know what it’s like, your partner receives a text past the watershed of 9pm… and you find yourself asking yourself who on earth could it be.
Could it be:
Their parents
Their best mate
Their sister
OR
A SECRET ADMIRER / LOVER!
I hope she was sure he was cheating!
What normally happens is that if you don’t trust that person implicitly you start to wander… and wonder until it gets too much to take. You just HAVE to find out.
It gets worse when you say something like “So how’s your dad” hoping to get the answer of who it was, and get a response saying “It wasn’t my dad”. You wander further. Before you start the interrogation, ask yourself whether your partner would really have an affair – if you get this wrong you could jeopardise your entire relationship and throw away all the trust you have spent years building up.
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