Posted by Hayden Allen on Wed 4th October 2006 at 05:52 AM, Filed in Niche Dating
I really enjoy reading about intuitive dating methods… whenever you think they couldn’t get more bizarre you get something like book dating come along. I always knew librarians had a little bit of sparkle!
Sometimes love finds you in the most unlikely places.
It’s often referred to as bib-dating, but it’s a take on speed dating whereby each participant brings a book to discuss - preferably one that they have actually read. As each potential couple is seated together, they have just five minutes to chat before moving to the next station. It’s up to the participants whether or not they want to talk about the book, but the good thing about it is that the pressure is somewhat off the two of you getting on.
Like speed dating, at the end of the conversation any wishing to exchange information can do so.
It’s currently taking Canada by storm, hooking up intellectuals very successfully.
Get down your local library today and see whether they have any events coming up… more than likely they have.
You may be thinking ‘what a strange topic to write about’ BUT it is not as strange as you think. Picture this… you are on your first date and you have stomach pains from all the ‘butterflies’ in your stomach. You could really do with a poo but doubt you’ll get any joy because you are more than likely constipated.
Wave that turd goodbye!
You may also feel a little embarrassed about being away from your date for 15 minutes whilst you are left straining on the karzie.
I am not a doctor, but I do have a non substance enhanced technique for this problem which has worked miracles for me. Here’s what you might want to try carefully should you ever find yourself in this position… press the middle bit of skin above your anus and below your tail stump, and hey presto Mr Hankie comes out at speed. You’ll be out of the loo so quickly it will look like you just had a widdle and that’s all!! I hasten to add that this should not be attempted without proper consultation with your doctor - specific medical circumstances may make this technique unsuitable.
With any luck you’ll never need to worry about such a trivial matter again!
Posted by Peter Brady on Mon 2nd October 2006 at 08:44 AM, Filed in General Dating
Some tongue in cheek actions that ladies should avoid while quarrelling with your loved one.
1. Cupping your hands to insinuate your boyfriend has man boobs. (That’s a real deal breaker!)
2. Holding your forefinger and thumb up to insinuate something small. (Again, another deal breaker!)
3. With a smile on your face just make the following sounds and words in sequence “oops” “sorry” “premature”.
4. Start hoovering the house while your boyfriend is arguing with you.
5. Imitate something flaccid and floppy with your fingers.
6. When he’s really, really fired up, just turn round and fart as loud as you can and calmly walk off.
7. Pour the dinner into his work shoes.
8. Start faking an orgasm et al “When Harry met Sally” and say “that’s what I have had to do every single time!” (Another deal breaker.)
9. This ones for a married couple - While he’s shouting at you get a roll of adhesive red dots and start placing them on the valuable items in the house while muttering “as well as keeping the house I’ll take this, this and this in the divorce settlement!”
10. Start writing a letter to your future mother-in-law and father-in-law outlining your boyfriend’s obsession with wearing your underwear.
Posted by Hayden Allen on Mon 2nd October 2006 at 05:43 AM, Filed in General Dating
We strongly advise that you don’t use any of these in the wild!
1. Start beating off in front of her, pulling an air guitar wince.
2. Start writing on the wallpaper ‘you stupid bitch’ 100 times.
3. Turn up the radio as loud as it will go to drown out the din coming from her mouth.
4. Just calmly start laughing at her.
5. Call up your ex whilst being shouted at and ask her out for a date.
6. Put your fingers in your ears and repeat “LA LA LA”
7. Pick up the phone book and say “it’s more interesting than listening to your dulcet tones”.
8. Throw the dinner she just made for you against the wall, followed by “whats this crap!”
9. Take down all the pictures of you together round the house and say “You ruin these shots!”
10. Call her mum and ask “has your daughter always been a pain in the butt”.
