Nobody said that breaking up was easy… often the hardest task is ensuring it doesn’t get too messy… but sometimes we just can’t help that! Especially if they turn out to be a bunny boiler or such like.
Maybe someone has cheated on you and you want to get some sweet revenge without looking like a crazed stalking loony…
Well, your prayers have been answered thanks to a rather funny author of all people. Matt Dunn is his name and in conjunction with his latest novel Ex-Girlfriends United, he’s launched a rather ingenious website where you can ‘Slate Your Date’!
That’s right, Matt wants’ you to join the masses flocking to the site and share with the www your worst ever date experience. Here’s your chance to get even or simply get it off your chest.
... oh, I forgot to say that the person with the best story wins £100!
Two cheeky teenagers have been fined £80 by police after playing a prank on a friend and posting his details on a dating website.
The pair of Midlanders, from Bromsgrove in Worcestershire, pretended their friend, who is 17, was 19 to post his details.
The victim started receiving calls, some late at night, prompting his family to contact West Mercia Police.
A spokesman said the boys had been drinking and thought it would be a funny thing to do but owned up immediately when questioned.
They were then fined under the 2003 Communications Act but could have ended up in court if they had not accepted the fine.
Pc Wayne Griffin said: “They had been drinking and thought it would be a laugh to place their friend’s name and phone number on a dating website without his knowledge.
These are guaranteed to kill the moment… could be useful if you can’t be bothered to go on!
‘Is it in yet?’
‘I’m timing you this time and it better be longer!’
‘You’re not as big downstairs than my ex!’
‘When you’re done can you go and make me a cup of tea’
‘I’m desperate for kids’
‘Ooops wrong hole, sorry’
‘Your Brazilian is itchy’
‘Oh Mandy’ (when her name’s something else!)
‘The doc gave me the all clear last week so the itching has finally gone’
‘How do you feel about my mates watching?’
Why is it that after the first few dates we analyse every minute detail of the experience looking for; what you may have said wrong, done wrongly or worn wrongly. We try and predict what they thought about us and just hope we hadn’t made a complete ass of ourselves (unless you are too cool for skool of course!)
I’m sure everyone has their horror stories about particular dating experiences, I certainly have.
This bloke was obviously well chuffed with his pull, well maybe not once he’d had the photos developed!
Or did you have too many drinks and end up throwing some shapes like this?
One of my stories goes something like this:
I met a gorgeous girl on a camp site, and it turned out she was off her head at the time, but all the same I got her number and called her a few days later and she agreed to meet up with me for a drink. She came to my mum’s house where I was living at the time and picked me up, no problems there.
A little light hearted humour for you, but rings truer in our far eastern relative countries. We’ve all heard of ladyboys or shemales I’m sure. Well believe it or not it’s a growing trend. Put it down to the amount of estrogens in water if you want, or just the fact that it’s becoming more acceptable for a man to become a woman… or part woman.
I’ve been to Thailand and seen the shows and I must say that in some circumstances it’s almost impossible to spot the fact that they have meat and two veg under their skirt. They are sometimes more convincing than the women themselves. Thais can be a very feminine looking race and this is why they carry it off so well. However in western cultures there’s almost no mistaking!
• 5 O’clock shadow
• Cheap implants that rise up to your chin or point out to the sides
• Chiselled jaw
• Hairy legs
• More make up than your average lady
• Hairy hands and feet
• Adams apple
• Larger hands than your average lady
• Bulge downstairs (could just be very hairy!)
• Deeper voice than average
• Crap plastic surgery!