5.6 million British singles out of dating practice
Posted by Patrick Woolmer on Mon 19th November 2007 at 02:25 AM, Filed in General Dating
No wonder we Brits are making dating internet entrepreneurs rich looking at these statistics:
• 5.6 million singles haven’t been on a date in more than six months.
• Only one in seven first dates will lead to a second date.
Europe’s largest dating service, Parship.co.uk recently uncovered some fascinating stats (above). In the UK, 13 million of us are single, and the cause; “a build up of dating toxins”. Psychiatrist Dr Victoria Lukats said “Forget the usual excuses … hectic lifestyle, lack of time and a dearth of suitable people … It’s not lifestyle that’s holding people back from forming a relationship – it’s what’s going on in their head.”
• Shyness: “I just don’t have the courage to ask women out on a date, if I was turned down I’d be so embarrassed … Maybe I just won’t bother.”
• Fussiness: “It’s Mike or no-one. Joe just doesn’t tick all of my boxes, and I’d never date a man who wears brown shoes.”
• Low self-esteem: “Why would anyone want to date me? All my relationships end in disaster anyway.”
• Lack of opportunity: “I’m so busy with my life … When am I ever going to find the time to go on a date?”
• Desperation. “Why am I still single when all my friends are married with kids? I just want to get married and settle down.”
If this sounds like you then there’s help at hand in the form of DatingDetox.com which has been set up to help singles boost their chances of finding love and overcome their problems with prospective partners.
“It’s similar to the way you’d treat someone with a phobia,” continues Dr Lukats. “It’s called exposure and response prevention. You encourage the individual to put him or herself in the feared situation and instead of doing what they’d normally do – for instance, a shy person will look at the floor and go home - you encourage them do things differently.
When working towards your goals the trick is to break things down into manageable tasks, starting with something easy like saying good morning to your colleagues and gradually moving on to harder exercises. So, for instance, the next step could be asking for directions in the street, followed by making eye contact on the escalators, chatting to someone in the supermarket and ultimately flirting on a night out and asking someone on a date.”
“You do each exercise for about 45 minutes, so that by the end the individual’s anxiety level has gone down and that’s what they remember. It’s also important to do the exercises regularly. Obviously, each individual’s treatment is different as it is personalized according to their problem areas.”
Dating Detox is a combination of psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioural therapy, dating etiquette and a matchmaking service provided through PARSHIP. With nearly 5 million members PARSHIP is Europe’s largest online matchmaking service; rather than relying on the typical prompts of photographs and self-descriptions, it uses a psychometric test to suggest matches between people who could be genuinely compatible.
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