Ask before you kiss please!
Picture this, you are at the end of a date early on in the dating game and have not yet kissed. You can see the time approaching to make your move and the butterflies are building up in your stomach…
… You go in for the kill and your date either one of the following things:
1 - They welcome the kiss and turn to meet you and you have what seems to be the best kiss ever!
2 - They pull back and give you a look as if to say, “hang on there buster, what do you think you are doing?”
My advice to you is to show a little courtesy and ask first. This presents you as considerate to your date’s feelings and can actually heighten the chemistry. It may sound odd when you ask, but it focusses you both on the moment and doesn’t create any surprises.
A simple “can I kiss you?” works a treat. Believe it or not, studies have shown that even when you ask after the first date or after 5 years, the focus is heightened on the situation.
The majority of us don’t ask at all, there are different standards for men and women in relationships and that both generally misread each other.
A recent study asked a female focus group if men are terrible at reading body language, and the overwhelming response was “Yes.” The female audience was also asked why women generally don’t ask men for permission to be intimate, and the responses were a fear of being rejected, because women are taught to be submissive to men, and because of a fear that they will be labeled as a “slag” if they ask.
The study then asked men in the group why they don’t ask for permission, and the responses were because it felt awkward and embarrassing and because they were also afraid of rejection.
The males were then told that the feeling of rejection was a because they will usually try a different strategy and ask the question again later. The real reason is that they lack the confidence to ask and fear looking like an “idiot,” while a confident man will have the courage to ask.
Women feel special when men are sincere and shown respect, while men generally feel that it makes them look weak and that they lose the opportunity to be spontaneous by asking for permission.
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