Does it really matter who our ex is dating?

Posted by Patrick Woolmer on Mon 7th May 2007 at 05:35 PM, Filed in General Dating

Immediately after a relationship, yes it does. Because we often feel rejected if dumped or competitive if we did the dumping. We want to know to satisfy our own feelings and that’s fair enough. It’s often the case that you spent a good chunk of your life or shared emotions with that person and you were intimate, therefore you want to know who they are sharing those same feelings with and how it’s going.

Obviously it is slightly different if you were dumped because you will want to measure yourself up against them and believe that your ex made the wrong decision. If they have made a bad decision in your eyes then this will make you feel like you have won of course. Deep inside though you will probably long for them to come back tail between their legs, pleading for a second chance – this will empower you of course and make you feel that you are back in control. It’s unlikely to happen though however.

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Control is the key word here, and we all like to be in control. If we aren’t then this is when we concern ourselves with our ex and who they are dating.

If you did the dumping, and you hear they are with someone else and it makes you feel eager to know who it is, you should perhaps ask yourself whether or not you made the right decision, or ‘does it really matter’? Hopefully you will just be pleased for them.

It’s natural to want to know who the ex is dating, we want to know if they measure up to what we believed we were to them. Just don’t make it obvious if you are on a mission to find out OK!

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