Does playing hard to get work?
Posted by Tom Wilkins on Thu 11th October 2007 at 05:08 AM, Filed in General Dating
Every one dreads the early days of dating someone new and playing the games that we do. It’s one of those things that we just have to do for some reason… you almost have to pretend to be someone you’re not for a few occasions, until you feel confident enough to let your guard down of course.
The main reason we play hard to get is to put up an invisible barrier that is there to protect us from rejection in the early days. You are being judged all the time as well as doing the judging and they are feeling exactly the same way as you!
Whilst this is all well and good and it’s a natural reaction to protect yourself from rejection by playing hard to get and getting them to demonstrate their feelings before you divulge yours, you should remember not to play it too hard… as most people get bored or get the wrong impression and bugger off, leaving you empty handed!
There is a happy medium!
Always…
Be yourself. They are either gonna like you or they aint. If you play games then what does it say about you to them? If they play games then you know that a long term relationship would be a nightmare! Trust me.
Listen. Don’t do all the talking, you’ll come across self-centered and egotistical… not very attractive at all!
Be honest with yourself. If you know there is no future in it because they make you want to be someone you are not then walk away now… Don’t try to be someone you are not!
Never…
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Just because they are quiet or nervous doesn’t mean that they are not right for you. Give it a go… get them to come out of their shell by encouraging their conversation.
Don’t leave them guessing. Be honest, if you enjoyed their company then tell them that. You don’t need to tell them you love them after the first date, but if you like them and there is a spark then why not make it clear, you’ll be saving a load of time!
Don’t be someone you are not. If you need to do this then you are only kidding yourself and you’ll look a loser at the same time.
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