How To Ask Someone Out

Posted by Hayden Allen-Vercoe on Tue 9th May 2006 at 06:39 AM, Filed in General Dating

Picture this… you have the crazy hots for someone and feel an instant attraction… what do you do next?

What will they say when you ask them out?  What happens if they say no? 

All these questions buzz round your head.  Relax…… and take your time and remember ‘He who dares wins!’

So what if they say NO…. at least you are bold enough to ask… so many of us let these opportunities pass us by.

I can’t pretend to give you a magic formula like so many of these books and other websites do (after you have parted with £10!!!), but I can give you the benefit of experience on what does and does not work.

Point 1
Check out my tips for reading body language.  This will help you understand if someone is giving you signals and will help you identify a suitable mate.

Point 2
Starting a conversation…. This can sometimes be a struggle because you are often feeling very self conscious.  Men and women are very different in this scenario and this is to do with something cavemen passed onto us.  Men always welcome women (most of the time), and women tend to be more choosy who they speak to.  What you must remember is to be confident in yourself.  Take a big breath and just go be yourself.  A witty (not rude) comment or a compliment always goes down a storm.  If you combine the two, then you have a great chance.

Point 3
Your potential partner will form an immediate impression about you so its so important to present yourself in a suitable manner, shoulders back, combed hair, dressed to impress…. You know what I mean. 

Point 4
Know when to give up!  If you are hitting a brick wall and just getting nowhere, just be polite and be confident when you say, “nice to chat, have a good evening”.  Never be rude, even if they are rude to you… you never know the situation may turn around for you, and they like the show of confidence.

Point 5
Don’t lie… it is far too easy to be caught out.  Ladies I have spoken to tell me they have been approached by thousands of ‘pilots’ whose stories just fall apart after a bit of digging.

Point 6
Play it cool…. If you are getting on well, test their interest by saying ‘nice to chat, catch you later’ you will be surprised how quickly they come to find you after an hour or two.

Point 7
Practice makes perfect.  If you get knocked back the first few times, just try to think of it as water off a ducks back and get your ass back out there.  As soon as you start thinking too hard and taking it too seriously, it becomes a chore!

Now go make that move!

However… if you want to get even with date that’s turned out to be an absolute nightmare then you need to go and Slate Your Date today!

This entry has been viewed 9415 times.


Great post Mr Allen. I’m going to try out 7 points this weekend.



Posted by Dave  on Tue 9th May 2006 at 09:30 PM | #

Umm agree with some of what your saying .

Posted by Mich  on Thu 29th June 2006 at 10:46 AM | #

Definitely agree on the no lying policy. Women don’t respect lyers.

Posted by Carmen  on Thu 29th June 2006 at 10:48 AM | #

Once again poor advice from someone who obviously isn’t getting laid very much.

The question you should be asking yourself after you read such an artical.. Is this guy laying top quality women?  Or is this just BS recycled 50’s era dating clieches?

I can’t even begin to tell you how many layers of wrongheaded thinking are going on with these articals.

Here is an Idea.. How about NOT asking a girl out.  How about skipping the courting process, NOT going through an extended process of qualifying yourself to this girl you hardly know, and bypass this crap completely. 

Get rid of the date frame.  Stop asking girls “out” , stop looking for their permission and approval all the time. 

I don’t go on dates.  I don’t buy girls drinks. I don’t get girls I havn’t screwed flowers.  I do however get laid like a rockstar.

When Im doing something , girls are welcome to come along. It’s not a date. She is in my reality and is a guest.

Brady Rose
Fresh Approach Dating Coach

Click my link to see my site.

Posted by Brady Rose  on Thu 14th September 2006 at 12:14 PM | #

Thanks for the comment Brady - but can’t say I agree with anything your saying. 

Unfortunately, alot of women and men are emotionally damaged by the tactics you propose. Also the way you refer to women seems to indicate a lack of respect or sensitivity, which should be a little worrying for your future clients.

Thanks for contributing though.

Posted by Pete  on Thu 14th September 2006 at 03:30 PM | #

You may be getting laid, but at what cost to her emotions. Are you a ‘dating’ coach OR a ‘shagging’ coach. Whatever you are I’d question just how successful you are and whether your tactics are for finding love or just a quick shag!

Good luck to you.

Posted by Barry  on Sat 16th September 2006 at 06:58 AM | #


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