How to break up with someone, nicely!
It’s the last thing you want to do but sometimes you just gotta do it for the sanity of you and your partner. You are playing with emotions that are often powerful and unpredictable. It’s likely that your partner may have stronger emotions for you than vice versa. One thing is certain though, your life won’t be happy again until you have sorted this issue out once and for all. The thought of being alone can be a daunting one, but this alone should certainly not stop you from making the break if you know it is right.
Britney obviously had her reasons from breaking with Justin the so called ‘Trousersnake’!
The key is to do it amicably and maturely, and without the need to ‘stick the knife in’. It’s about damage limitation to both of you, but you have a duty to do and you must be firm about it. In your ‘speech’ to your partner talk about the benefits to you both and how if it isn’t working for you then it is just not fair on them. Keep your language uncomplicated but supportive.
The worst thing you can do is buckle once you have said it and agree to give it another go. You know when it isn’t right so why try to keep the pain going.
Don’t also make the mistake of ‘blame-finding’, and pointing the finger at specific circumstances that have brought you to your decision. It gets messy and you both walk away hating the other. It is very likely you can remain great mates.
Never break up with someone without being face to face with them. I’m talking about avoiding cowardly behaviour like breaking up on; email, text, or via a friend. It’s is just so unfair on the other person because they are left with questions and ideas that only you can answer – and it’s only fair that you answer them.
In terms of where to do it. Try to find a mutual ground or on their turf, somewhere that you they will get comfort from.
It may turn nasty from their perspective, but just try to diffuse and admit blame – they will be hurting deep down and looking for blame. This will pass in a couple of months, but in order to help them get to grips with it just try to be supportive as possible.
Don’t whatever you do go back for ‘booty call’! This is just suicide in your position!
However… if you want to get even with date that’s turned out to be an absolute nightmare then you need to go and Slate Your Date today!
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READER COMMENTS:
Good advice and just what I need at the moment - I have a girlfriend of 3 years and i have the urge to move on.
Posted by Captainbirdseye on Sat 26th August 2006 at 09:42 PM | #