How to turn down a date, nicely!
It can be a hugely satisfying and ego boosting exercise when someone asks you out, unless you are gorgeous and you are bored of getting asked out all the time! We all know beauty is skin deep, BUT there must obviously be a spark of something there for you to be interested in going out with somebody. This article is dedicated to the times that you are just NOT interested but are not of the nature of being flat rude to them.
Noddy didn’t handle rejection too well!
So when do you say “NO”?
Well, put yourself in their shoes for a minute, they may have spent weeks thinking about you and how they are going to ask you. Firstly if you got an inclination they like you then make it clear you are not interested like that – ‘It’s cruel to be kind’. This is not easy in itself but try not to lead them on in any way and perhaps talk to them as a unbeknown friend and subtly tell them the sort of person you are looking to go out with, or get a mutual friend to suggest that you like someone else outside of your circle of friends. Don’t whatever you do boost your ego by letting them think they have a chance.
Obviously if you are in a bar and someone comes up to you who you just don’t fancy, don’t accept drinks off them, as once again you will be giving false hope.
Here are some tips on knocking back a date:
If you are unsure of your feelings –
Ask for some time. There’s noting wrong with this at all and they will respect you. Give it a couple of weeks to a month minimum. You can’t be put on the spot. If you don’t know them that well then ask yourself ‘what I got to lose?’. You may make a great friend anyway.
Double date. If you are up for trying something new then why don’t you suggest a double date whereby you can take along a mate and therefore have an escape clause if one of you should fall mysteriously ill!
If you definitely don’t see a future here -
“No thank you”. Thee simple words that says it all. You are being polite as well as direct.
“I’m flattered, but I’m involved with someone else”. If you can’t be as direct as the above then a little white lie won’t hurt. This is a really nice way of saying no ta!
“Get lost!” To be used in extreme circumstances, but never the less very powerful when you are getting badgered 24/7 and they just aint getting the message. If thios fails…. Call the police!
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READER COMMENTS:
Tricky thing to do under any circumstances!
Posted by Craig on Tue 25th July 2006 at 12:15 PM | #