Increase your chance of a date online!

Posted by Hayden Allen-Vercoe on Tue 8th August 2006 at 08:40 AM, Filed in Tips For Online Dating

FACT – Men outnumber women 2 to one on most dating sites. This scary fact means that if you are a bloke… then you have some serious competition to contend with. There are approximately 16 million singles online that are looking for love, with 11 million of these being men.

Get this - A good looking female profile will get more than 100 winks and 50 messages in a single day. This is what you are contending with fellas.

SO… how does a man get noticed I hear you say? Well, it’s down to your approach of course. Posting a picture and a good profile is one thing, and once you have this sorted you only need worry about the very first email.

A good email response.

This is make or break guys and you need to make every approach individual in order to attract the attention of a particular person.  Don’t make the worst mistake – emailing the same crap to loads of different girls (scattergun approach) as when women read this they will be able to tell that you have just done exactly that (they aint stoopid!)

Remember to look your best when it comes to the photo, check out this online personal stylist service for more style advice.

Carefully choose someone who interests you and then read her profile carefully making very brief notes on what you both have in common. Then go to work! Write your email talking her language and presenting an opinion on an interest she may have or you may share.

Women get emailed some really poorly prepared emails and the only places these end up is in the trash folder. The BIG secret is to understand the sort of person they are from their profile and then tailor a response to them.

Be cheeky, subjects that just say something like ‘Hello’ are plenty and won’t get you noticed. Ask a question instead or just have a bit of fun ‘Frog needs a princess to kiss’! Present a sense of humour, but don’t cross the line of rudeness, it won’t be appreciated.



Read her profile and make notes. Understand what she is looking for and then work out if you are the one, and if so why!

Good subject heading. Make sure your email grabs her attention. Again relate this to her profile and interests.

Tailor every email. Make sure each email appeals specifically to each different lady. It may take longer but I guarantee that your responses will go up 10 fold.

Be yourself. Write the email from the heart and appeal to what she is looking for, there will be loads of clues in her profile which are basically her heartstrings. Find the rhythm and strum them good.

Sell yourself. Get creative with your words and ideas. Don’t sell yourself short, be confident but certainly not arrogant.

Be brief. It is likely that the only words on your email that she will read will be the first line, so make them count.

Call to action. Make sure you close the email with something like ‘Look forward to hearing from you’, it will give her more of a prod to get back to you.


Send the same crap email to 10 girls!

Be rude or explicit.

Write a 2000 essay on your life!

This entry has been viewed 10190 times.


Good advice, its incredble just how much of the same crap I get through from men. They mostly just end up spamming me and I never look at it. Men, take note!

Posted by Gemma  on Wed 9th August 2006 at 08:13 PM | #

For how not to get a good response from women, there’s a fabulous book out called e-luv. Coincidentally, I wrote it.

Posted by dave roberts  on Fri 11th August 2006 at 02:17 AM | #

I read it… it’s classic.You should be on stage mate!

Posted by brian  on Mon 14th August 2006 at 05:56 PM | #

Classic book mate.

Posted by ChrisH  on Tue 15th August 2006 at 10:32 AM | #

Very poor advice.

The author obviously has not researched very deeply into the art of seduction, online , pickup or any good material on the whole woman and dating thing.

This article Is largely recycled social programming, that ultimately originates from women. Although logically one would think that advice from women would be good advice on how to meet women, it is however NOT good advice what-so-ever.

Cliches like “just be yourself” are the worse advise ever!  Be your BEST self!

Advise to “sell yourself” ultimately is giving rapport trying to get it back, which is fundamentally unattractive.  It demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of how attraction works.


Advice such as “be your self”

Posted by Brady Rose  on Thu 14th September 2006 at 11:56 AM | #

Thanks Brady.

Umm I think the best advice is always the simplest, social programming or not.

You are completely entitled to your opinion Brady but I’m afraid your tone sounds a tad misogynist. Not a good start to understanding the opposite sex I’m afraid.


Posted by Pete  on Thu 14th September 2006 at 03:36 PM | #

For anyone interested in the general topic of online dating, there is a new URL that describes a great new safety tool for those who make use (or who are contemplating such) of any of the
online dating sites, of which there must now be thousands available on the Internet. Only a few of the most major such sites offer any type of psychological testing and/or background
informational searches to be accomplished on the users of the sites. Compatibility testing and matching really does not help filter out those who are attempting to make use of the sites
based upon scamming, criminal, or otherwise harmful motivations. Reviews of the only couple sites that offer users some degree of criminal background history checking and unfortunately
these checks have been reviewed as being too limited in scope; generally only limited to the police records in a single State or else useless as the focused upon individual is making use of
an alias or pseudo name in his/her communications with the site.
Just very recently, a new approach has been developed that addresses this very problem. A psychologist who has an extraordinary background in psychological test development, as well
as in security related integrity or honesty testing has developed this new tool. This psychologist has developed a rather short/quick psychological test, based upon well-established and
sound psychological test construction logic, that is designed to assess almost a dozen problem areas that are highly associated with personal integrity/honesty. This 72-item, multiple-choice
test, the Personal Security Standards Psychological Questionnaire (PSSPQ), has recently gone through a rather thorough testing when used to screen or otherwise evaluate the general
integrity of persons who were attempting to contact potential ‘dates’ through the services offered by online dating sites. The PSSPQ has recently been made commercially
available to users of online dating sites. An extremely complete (and quite lengthy) description of the PSSPQ when used in the online dating arena for individual evaluation purposes is
available on: . On this PSSPQ website, many helpful links are provided that greatly aid a reader in understanding and
evaluating the PSSPQ, its development, and its developer, as well as the many dangers that face anyone making use of the online dating sites.

Posted by Dr. L. A. Stone  on Mon 19th February 2007 at 03:03 AM | #


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