Is cohabiting today just a ‘get out clause’ for not marrying?
In our parents and grand parents day, if you were having a sexual relationship with someone and you weren’t married then you could have been deemed as ‘Living in sin’ and you would have probably been dragged down the local church for a talking to by the vicar.
Moving in is surely the only way to find out what they are like, BUT beware the majority of cohabiting couples only last for 2 years.
Times have changed… oh yes! For the better…. or is it? Free love is everywhere today and one night stands are a common occurrence with no-one branding you with an iron for doing so. We have become a sexually free culture (in most countries). Even our single parents are jumping on the bandwagon (horrible thought) and dating freely.
Young couples today (certainly here in the UK) are shacking up together early on in a relationship, and the trend is growing – the majority of them just aren’t contemplating marriage, ‘that’s far too serious’.
According to my folks, apparently if you wanted a sex life back in the middle of last century, then you had to get married first and then move in together. Seems strange to our new generations. Maybe this is why divorce is at a high with the baby-boomer generation (born just after WW2), as they are now realising there is choice and they now want their freedom!
Going to live with someone is surely the right thing to do after 6 or so months into a relationship as it’s the only way you can really get to know them, and find out whether you would end up strangling them after a few months.
Hats off to some faiths that have arranged marriages, how they can make it work is beyond me.
New York’s Cornell University recently carried out some research that found that that cohabitation is unstable: half of all cohabitees’ relationships last less than a year and 90 per cent end within five years, mostly because couples broke up. Another scary fact is that in Britain the average length of cohabitation is just two years, and more than half of all cohabitees split up within five years of the birth of a child.
Engagements are actually on the rise, but most of them never get to the marriage part, however there is an argument that by going through the vows thing that it intensifies the relationship and therefore the feelings shared. Cohabiting could be seen as a relationship destroyer if you look at the stats.
I personally don’t understand how a relationship can work without first getting under the skin of someone and finding out if you are compatible, sexually and mentally. But then I’m not married and would probably do anything to escape the notion. Is long term cohabiting an excuse to ‘escape’ when need be? Or would earlier marriages cement a relationship for longer?
There is the point also that marriages cost on average £20k…. this is the average earnings of someone in the UK. Having to save money for a wedding is also a reason for long term cohobating.
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