Is it OK to check up on them?
You know what it’s like, your partner receives a text past the watershed of 9pm… and you find yourself asking yourself who on earth could it be.
Could it be:
Their parents
Their best mate
Their sister
OR
A SECRET ADMIRER / LOVER!
I hope she was sure he was cheating!
What normally happens is that if you don’t trust that person implicitly you start to wander… and wonder until it gets too much to take. You just HAVE to find out.
It gets worse when you say something like “So how’s your dad” hoping to get the answer of who it was, and get a response saying “It wasn’t my dad”. You wander further. Before you start the interrogation, ask yourself whether your partner would really have an affair – if you get this wrong you could jeopardise your entire relationship and throw away all the trust you have spent years building up.
I personally can’t stand watching my mates ladies look at their phone everytime a text comes in… it’s such an insult! And unless you are 90% sure they are cheating you don’t have the right to snoop…. Someone’s mobile phone is personal to themselves and you are invading their space.
However, if you are 90% sure they are having an affair (see my tips on ‘how to tell if they are having an affair’), then you may decide to take the notion that it is fair and you just need to know as it’s affecting your life and therefore take the opportunity to snoop. But be it on your head if you are wrong!
A recent ‘shocking’ study commissioned by the internet security firm Symantec, found 60 per cent of women would check their partners’ text messages. The numbers for the men were slightly lower: 25 per cent said they’d check their partners’ emails, with 39 per cent admitting they’re happy to sneak a look at their texts.
If you are a snooper… and you know you are! Then there are a couple of tools out there for you - try Spector. A neat little bit of software that you can add to your computer unnoticed and that will track any naughty business your partner gets up to.
Or try a private detective if you have cash to burn! But before you go steaming into their Inbox I suggest you get your facts right by more subtle identification methods.
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