Masturbation V Relationship

Posted by Hayden Allen-Vercoe on Thu 26th October 2006 at 06:03 PM, Filed in General Dating

What a question to ask, but more and more of us seem to be opting for option 1!

The amount of us choosing to be a singleton means exactly that… how else are we going to get our kicks. Booty Calls are up, but when you have been told to ‘F Off’ by all the ex’s on your mobile after you have had 5 pints of Stella there is only one solution.

image V image
Not a difficult decision to make in this case!!!

So, what are the benefits I hear you ask, well lucky old you lot are about to find out:

The Relationship +

Sharing experiences
Feeling loved and wanted
Bit more exciting than ‘Mrs Palmer and her 5 lovely daughters/sons’
You can experiment a little more
Lose more weight through sex with a person rather than your hand

The Stroke +

It’s free
No pillow talk when you can’t be bothered
You can make it real by laying on your arm and painting your finger nails (if you a bloke)
Can do it pretty much anywhere and be very subtle
No chance of STDs…
You can roll over afterwards and fart without getting slapped

If you want my advice… get yourself a part time lover and keep on tickling the spam, both are just as good and it’s difficult to see one as a clear winner.

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READER COMMENTS:

Feeding the ducks wins every time for me… mind you I’m told I’m too ugly to find a girlfriend!

Posted by jerry  on Thu 26th October 2006 at 06:21 PM | #

Something tells me these guys will be masturbating forever.

Posted by Christopher Trottier  on Thu 26th October 2006 at 06:39 PM | #

the whole reason the concept of friends with benefits was born was the happy medium of concensual sex without the annoyances of everyday life.  Your still master of your domain but don’t have to employ services like mobilealibi com just to get some peace and quiet everyonce or a while (or to get some other frieds w/ benefits)

Posted by Matt  on Thu 26th October 2006 at 07:27 PM | #

When in doubt, masturbate! That philosophy has served me well over the years as you can see! Truly one of the joys of life my friends!

Posted by Jarvis Fernley  on Thu 26th October 2006 at 08:12 PM | #

There’s no argument… spanking off is far more appealing than listning to the drone of my girlfriend. Ever heard of the ‘Champagne Grip’ - treat yourself and cover the top of your chap with your thumb and as you shoot, it feels like a champagne bottle. Oh yes forgot to mention, I am a man!

Posted by GBoy  on Thu 26th October 2006 at 09:45 PM | #

My motto is ‘wank through it’. Whenever I feel low I just go for it and all is happy again. Deffo better than a relationship, but then again I haven’t really had much experience.

Posted by Barney  on Thu 26th October 2006 at 09:47 PM | #

If you’de rather wack it, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WIH YOU!!!!!

Posted by Dusti  on Wed 12th December 2007 at 07:58 PM | #

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