Their relationship is intoxicating.

Posted by Tom Wilkins on Fri 21st September 2007 at 03:21 AM, Filed in Dating Questions Answered

Hi

I’d appreciate some advice please. My friend has recently started seeing this guy and now she’s ignoring me as well as all our other friends. We all think he’s no good for her because he is in complete control of the relationship and spends all his time with his friends. I want to tell her how I feel but not sure how to do it and am afraid that I’ll push her away even more.

Sonia, Australia

Hey Sonia

Thanks for your email. This is not an uncommon scenario and one I’m contacted a fair bit about. A relationship runs in cycles and as you will probably know the early stages are often the ‘full on’ bits when you can’t keep your hands off each other. This passes normally between the 3 – 6 month stage once the relationship matures a bit and you want to inject a little more interest. From experience, after this time friends almost always come round to how they have been behaving and suddenly panic about losing their friends.

I’d advise you not to tell her that you don’t approve of her other half as this will only cause friction between you and her and she’ll only want to be with him more. Also it’s not up to you to choose her fate, although I agree that sometimes you do need to step in – but not in this case. Ignore her and move on if she is going to ignore you – she’ll soon come round if she is a true friend. She’ll get bored of his friends over time and start craving her own space back as he increases his dominance over the relationship.

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